Other RPSI! Live on Discord!

RODAN

Banned deucer.
approved by shade

https://discord.gg/qVjs8Gw



RPSI is the sport of kings, it is a classic battle of wits between two men. The rules are simple, two players submit anything they want to the judge. and i mean anything. and then the judge spins a yarn about which one would inevitably win in a fight. Alas! this hasn't ever truly been completed in the past, so for a bit of a format change we are gonna do it LIVE to prevent johning!

How its going to work, we will need three judges/writers to sign up. And like a pokemon tournament battle, the pairing will have to decide on a time with one of the three judges. The RPSI duel will take place in the Games room on the Social Forums Discord. All logs should be posted in this thread after a matchup is complete.

Players will also sign up ITT. There will be only EIGHT spots in this tournament, with entrants chosen at my discretion.

Some Examples of previous submissions: "A poorly maintained front lawn" "that feel when no gf" "a fish without an eye"

JUDGE SIGNUPS
---
internet
Walrein
shade

PLAYER SIGNUPS
---

RODAN - im playing btw lul
hitmonleet
Flyhn
Vanillish Wafer
martin
acidphoenix
KnightOfCydonia
zorbees
shubaka17
 
Last edited:

internet

no longer getting paid to moderate
is an Artist Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus
it was a relaxing day for governor Naamloos. he was just chilling on a park bench.

"I am gezegend (that’s blessed in dutch)," he thought "nothing could possibly ruin this mooie (that’s beautiful in dutch) day.".

It was then that a man approached him, and sat next to him on the park bench.

“Goedemiddag (that’s good afternoon in Dutch)”, Governor Naamloos said to the man who sat next to him “Beautiful weer (that’s weather in Dutch) we’re having.”

Without a word, the strange man handed Governor Naamloos a piece of shiny paper. A picture. A picture of Governor Naamloos having sexual relationships with a woman! If this leaked, it could ruin him.

“Wat! (that’s what in Dutch)” Governor Naamloos said. “You fucking kankerneger! (that’s ****** ****** in dutch)”.

But it was then that a cat fell from the maan (that’s moon in Dutch) and saved Governor Naamloos from having to pay up or being embarrassed by scratching up the photos and the man. The einde (that’s end in dutch.)

phoenix: a cat that just fell from the moon (winner)
vs
knights: Blackmail pictures of the judge's mother in compromising positions with the governor of the judge's state
 

internet

no longer getting paid to moderate
is an Artist Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus
a fat shirtless slob is sitting at his computer eating cheetos when suddenly A GIANT MUSCULAR BIRD FLIES THROUGH HIS WINDOW. RKO OUTTA NOWHERE. BUT THE FAT SHIRTLESS SLOB REGAINS HIS CONSCIOUSNESS AND SLAMS THE BIRD WITH A FOLDING CHAIR AND THEN THEY SUPLEX EACH OTHER SIMULTANEOUSLY. THE WORLD IS WATCHING AS THESE POWERFUL OPPONENTS SLAM AND JAM IT OUT IN THE RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING. THE BIRD HITS A HOMERUN BUT THE SLOB HITS A BULLSEYE AND THAT'S STRIKE OUT. THIS IS A BIG HIT AGAINST THE BIRD BUT WILL THIS DARK HORSE RECOVER TO MAKE A SLAM DUNK AND WIN THE KOALA KUP? HE RUSHES IN AND DOES A DENNIS BERGKAMP. DENNIS BERGKAMP OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HALAIJSLKFJALSJKDFGLKJASLKDGJLAKJSDGKLJA DENNIS BERGKAMP. THE BIRD DOES A DENNIS BERGKAMP AND AN O.J. SIMPSON AND THE FAT SLOB IS STAGGERING. HE'S TRYING TO STAY ON HIS FEET BUT HE FALLS OVER... IT WAS A RUSE! HE DOES A BACKFLIP ONTO THE BIRD, SLAMMING THE BIRD INTO THE GROUND! BUT THE BIRD WAS WEARING SPIKED ARMOR! CC-C-C-C-C-C-C-C--C-C-COUNTERED! THE BIRD WINS!

shubaka17:
(winner)

martin: The shirtless child of Digibro and BenTheDemon having just eaten his fill of cheetos
 

Ampharos

tag walls, punch fascists
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
"...ok, it's done." Aura Guardian wiped the sweat from his brow, leaning back in his chair.

"Are you sure it's balanced? I don't wanna start writing role PMs unless we're sure it's not going to change." The message came from the other side of the world, as Agape studied the spreadsheet thoughtfully.

"Trust me. You know how some things are elegant in their simplicity?"

"Yeah."

"This is the exact opposite of that. There are so many carefully crafted mechanics in this game that there's no way anyone will even figure out how to play properly, let alone how to exploit anything."

"You're sure?"

"You realize the role PMs you're having to write are longer than most _updates_ in other games?"

"...alright, I trust you."

And so it was that Pathfinder Viva Mafia came into being.

It's true that the game's balance, carefully designed to be both as balanced and as absurdly convoluted as possible, was nearly impenetrable. However, there was one glaring flaw in the system. It's a well known fact that Smogon mafia players were known for illogical reactions to a certain sort of role, and all it would take was one clumsy toddler for the whole block tower to come crashing to the ground.

Unfortunately for the hosts, the role with the most potential to blow the game wide open was handed to the clumsiest toddler around.

That's the story of how UncleSam was handed a free win in Pathfinder Viva Mafia.

zorbees: a toddler's ability to break things (winner)
Hitmonleet: Pathfinder Viva Mafia
 

shade

be sharp, say nowt
is a Senior Staff Member Alumnusis a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnus
A very unfortunate typo vs A pair of adult heelies

Pavel Mikhail Ivanov, also known as 'Acklow', was a huge fan of porn. We're not talking like 'watches pornhub every night' kind of huge fan, he was the real deal. Acklow would sit there for hours, endlessly watching porn in his bedroom, as the days and nights passed him by in a haze of doggystyle and cumshots. The strangest part is that he would never actually masturbate to the porn, he would just sit there for hours staring into the abyss of sexual degeneracy.

'Good Russian boys don't wank. You'll be send to the gulag if you keep acting like a gopnik!' - his mother's words still rang in his ears every time he watched a new video.

Acklow was such a porn megafan that he would purchase his videos online in disk format and keep all the DVD cases in large shelving units that lined every possible piece of wall space in his bedroom. He had collected so many DVDs that he only had space in his shelving for one more DVD, and this DVD had been ordered off Amazon yesterday. He hated using Amazon, Americanski scum of a website, but their Amazon prime next-day delivery was too tempting - his collection HAD to be complete ASAP. Once he had filled his shelving units, he could maybe save up for warehouse space and start the largest physical porn collection in the world. What a Guinness World Record that would be.

The new DVD had ordered was a pretty standard affair, he thought. It was one of those videos with a babysitter that messes up and a particularly touchy married couple, you all know the ones. The title of the porno was 'A pair of adult feelies', he thought this was a perfect funny title to complete his collection with. He sat by the window, waiting impatiently for the UPS man to come and give his feelies, refusing to eat or drink until the collection-buster arrived.

knock-knock

YES! The delivery man! He couldn't wait to slot that case right into its hole. He signed for the parcel and ran straight up to his room, eager to finish the year on a high. The parcel seemed a bit too large, though he reasoned that maybe he had bought a limited edition set that had posters in it and shit. He began to frantically open the packaging, tearing through the cardboard with his teeth to save the hassle of getting scissors.

"Huh... a shoe box... what??"

He was FURIOUS, if blood could boil then he would've been dead in this moment.

"Fucking Amazon Americanski spijon, you should all be in the gulag!! Western spies!!"

He opened the shoebox, he wanted to see what shitty nike trainers he had been sent instead of his rambunctious romping video. As he opened the lid, something strange happened, he felt an odd energy emanating off the pair of kicks inside. As soon as he could see the shoes inside, he fell in love. Acklow had forgotten about porn, this was a new beginning for the young gopnik.

"Shoes with... wheels?!"

He put them on, ran outside and began to wheel down the hill outside his house.

"I'm the white Chamillionaire!" he shouted to the world, as he rolled into the sunset


A very unfortunate typo vs A pair of adult heelies

rodan is the victor, flyhn lost but his submission was decent
 

RODAN

Banned deucer.
ROUND 2:

zorbees vs phoenix
RODAN vs shubaka17

remember for round 2 each judge has to judge both matchups. the players will submit a DIFFERENT submission to each judge.
 

internet

no longer getting paid to moderate
is an Artist Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus
A Russo-american youth sat at the breakfast table, neglecting to drink his breakfast. His father, Stalin, quietly observed, before lowering his newspaper to talk to his son.

"Son, why you not drink breakfast vodka?" he said in a thick russian accent. "Is good for you."

"Father, am sad" the russian youth stated, sobbing through his words. "Am so sad"

"Why sad?" said Stalin, pouring his son another glass of vodka "drink vodka for not sad anymore, regardless of reason. Maybe reason is capitalism?"

"Reason is firebot, father." the russian youth stated "My post was edit."

Stalin neglected to answer his son. Instead, he had his son executed for being such a little pussy, his proud fatherly admiration firmly defeated by someone editing sheldon into his son's posts.

RODAN: Editing Sheldon into Firebot posts (winner)

vs.

Shubaka:

 
Last edited:

shade

be sharp, say nowt
is a Senior Staff Member Alumnusis a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnus
A glass that is ¼ empty vs Godzilla using the Empire State Building as tooth floss

Old Godzilla was hoppin' around
Tokyo (New York) City like a big playground
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a Bat Grenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But he didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq Fu

Man, all that fighting really was wearing Godzilla out. This ‘Ultimate Showdown’ lark was really draining the poor, bloodlusting lizard. After having a can of Shaq Fu opened up on him, maybe a can of Scotland’s finest Irn Bru would do the trick.

“Sorry Zilla sir, no Irn bru here, this America,” came the response from every single store owner he visited.

“Fucking racists,” thought Godzilla, “I would’ve voted for Gary Johnson.”

Finally, Godzilla relented and sat down at a bar and ordered a glass of Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper wasn’t his favourite, but it would have to do. As the waitress walked over to his table, Godzilla’s mood began to worsen.

“EXCUSE ME!” he roared, “my glass is only three quarters full. 75% that is, by the way. I will only be paying 75% of the bill. You can forget about a tip.”

“S.. s.. sorry zilla sir. We just use cans of Dr. Pepper, that’s how much of the glass it filled,” the waitress meekly replied.

Suddenly, Godzilla remembered that hypercarnivores get the vast majority of their nutrients from feeding. Fuck Dr. Pepper. Godzilla devoured the waitress, glass and all, and then proceeded to floss his teeth using the lightning rod on the top of the Empire State Building.

A glass that is ¼ empty vs Godzilla using the Empire State Building as tooth floss
 

internet

no longer getting paid to moderate
is an Artist Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus
I was just getting comfortable in bed, when I had to pee. In order to decide my next action, I played rock paper scissors against myself. this was so much fun, that I forgot about everything else and peed all over myself, ruining my paper, and then I couldn't play anymore.

zorbees: when you're comfy in bed but have to pee (winner)

vs.

phoenix: RPS (loser)
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 1, Guests: 0)

Top