The No-BS Guide to the Lobby

By f(x). Art by unfixable and brightobject.

The Lobby. What is it about this place that gives people a magical feeling inside? Is it the vast number of users? Or maybe it's the fast moving chat with topics of all sorts. Whatever the reason might be, my research team and I delved into the depths of all of it. We saw past every corner and under every little rock that the Lobby had to offer. The results were...strange; something that we never expected. It was so unique and strange that it was nothing. That's right, exactly nothing, no secrets. Well, in that case, I'm just here to give you a no-bullshit guide to the Lobby. Stay tuned!

The Good

What's a better way to start off an article than to state positive facts? I mean, what's not to love about the Lobby, right? You get speaking freedom, people of all kinds gather there, etc. At times, you can truly find some intellectual conversations going on in there. People would need a reason to NOT be in the Lobby at this point. Well yeah, there are the people who greetbot, answerbot, troll, and are just bad in general. But psssh, that's for a different part of the article. Wait—what was I writing about again? Oh yeah, the good things. The Lobby is like a present; you never know what you're gonna get until you get into it. It could be that new Xbox that you wanted, or it could be another cheap lotion basket from Walmart's clearance section. But like I said, good things do exist despite the Lobby's occasional fast-paced troll session. There are generally welcoming people who just want to meet some friends and make good discussion. But below all that resides a very toxic part of the Lobby; one where the most faint of heart and vanilla users shouldn't even dream of going. However, where there's a little bad there is always a little good, likewise good discussion isn't uncommon in the Lobby:

+Albacore: b/c that lets it hit stuff like scizor and ferro
SovietMagikarp: albacore but kyerum-b gets fusion bolt
SovietMagikarp: thats something rite
KingOfAllSwag: kyurem-b in OU while kyurem-white uber
+Albacore: fusion bolt is not nearly as good
The Ichimaru Gin: Scarf ice beam from black kyurem ohko lando t

The Bad

So what's this bad part of the Lobby that everyone is talking about? Well, if you've ever been to the Lobby, you'll probably notice a few things that strike your eye as "bad". Perhaps it's the obscene or derogatory insults, or the sexual lingo. Not to mention how fast moving the chat is, which may or may not drown out your weak little messages. To confirm my findings, I asked several Lobby regulars how they felt about their homeland; the results were…not surprising in the least:

+faxxifer: When you think of the PS! Lobby, what is the first thing that comes into mind?

PeachyPepper: Shitposting
Mega Pert is waifu: cancer
I'mMutedGG: mute
akashmoney: the word fuck
Reavik: Shrek.
NFofjds2: sex

As you can see, some people feel very strongly and passionate about the Lobby, whether that be in a good or a bad way. Aside from all of this, there are a few types of users in the Lobby that I want to touch base on. I call them the "terrible, tacky threesome." Actually—scratch that; let’s just call them the "terribad triad."

Greetbotters

You know those kids at school that always say "hi" to every teacher that they see? Well, that's kinda what greetbotters are. In PS! terms, it's when a user says hello to all of the staff or just everyone in general in order to get on good terms with people. This is one of the less subtle ways of stroking and getting staff attention. These are also the types of users that aspire to be a Voice one day, so you can see that their efforts are meaningful to them. Sadly, these kiddos are not very clever with their strategies and will just need to try harder to make it in the real world!

Answerbotters

Ah yes, answerbotters. That kid in class who always raises his hand to answer the question whether it's right or wrong. You will generally see these people answering in a quick manner every single question that's asked in the chat. Whether it's some newbie asking where the Help room is or a staff member asking what time it is, these guys are first ones to help any poor soul. Sounds nice, right? To some people, yes, it's quite helpful,and on rare occasions, it can spark some good discussion. But to others, it's annoying, especially if that's all the user does, kind of making them seem like an actual bot.

The know-it-nots

Last and certainly least, this is the pitiful group of people who don't take notes in class, pay no attention, and answer wrong when the teacher calls on them. Or you could say they are the ones who give out false/bad metagame information. Let’s be real, this is a Pokémon battle simulator, so if you're going around and unknowingly giving people bad street smarts, we're gonna have a problem. This goes for anything, really, like when someone asks what 5² is and you say 35. Yeah… now I did badly on my quiz. Thanks a lot.

The Ugly

Trolls. No, not those strange things that live under bridges. I'm talking about those people who stir up trouble just for the absolute hell of it. Whether we're talking flamers, spammers, intense shitposters, or just people who post bad things. They all have one objective really: to get shits and giggles from the people who they're trolling. Cute, right? You could say that, but I'm sure that the majority of people think otherwise. Thankfully, we have a base solution for this acid situation called the PS! staff, who quarantine the Lobby so that we can talk in a clean room. Though I will admit, it's amusing to see what kind of clever stuff these trolls come up with, only to have it stepped on by a mute or a lock. But I like to believe that it's their art and they're just painting to get people to look at it.

So, now that you know this somewhat useless information, how do you make your stay in the Lobby a good one? Well, first off, don't do anything stupid to get yourself in trouble, you know, unless you're into that. If you want to have a good discussion, then put yourself out there rather than wait. 'Cause you know what they say: you miss all of the shots you don't take. Even if you're being ignored or called something bad, you're sure to eventually hook someone into your discussion. That's how it all ends up, after all.

In the end, the Lobby is a mysterious and confusing place where people of all kinds gather, but how you spend your time there is up to you. You could categorize yourself here or go out into the world and find yourself. Wait, this isn't the time for a couple of inspirational last words? Then I'll leave it at that. Just don't be bad out there.

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