Pokérap Battles: Sun vs. Rain
| « Previous Article | Home | Next Article » |
Rap Battler Profiles
Sun
Representative: 2-QuakezResidence: Earth's G-Spot
Rhyme Style: Groundbreaking
Side Hustle: Professional skin tanner
Rain
Representative: D. RizzleResidence: In the shizzle
Rhyme Style: Thundurus
Side Hustle: Makin' it rain
It's ya boy 2-Quakez ready to break the ground
Commander of continents, fuckin' world-renowned
I bring life to the party while you make pussies drown
Rock Polish swag nigga I'm runnin' you down
Double Dancin' Swords to break yo H2O compounds
Better run and hide 'cause I'm takin' you downtown.
Who cares if you gonna hit me with a Water Spout?
'Cause Imma spout some more shit so move the fuck out
My crew so strong we could whoop yo ass with a Bellsprout
We be stirrin' up a Magma Storm without a shade of a doubt
SunnyBeamin' for days 'cause that's what it's all about
Chloro-fillin' yo bitches with heat 'cause they can't handle the Drought.
Commander of continents, fuckin' world-renowned
I bring life to the party while you make pussies drown
Rock Polish swag nigga I'm runnin' you down
Double Dancin' Swords to break yo H2O compounds
Better run and hide 'cause I'm takin' you downtown.
Who cares if you gonna hit me with a Water Spout?
'Cause Imma spout some more shit so move the fuck out
My crew so strong we could whoop yo ass with a Bellsprout
We be stirrin' up a Magma Storm without a shade of a doubt
SunnyBeamin' for days 'cause that's what it's all about
Chloro-fillin' yo bitches with heat 'cause they can't handle the Drought.
Not gonna lie, that rap was pretty fuckin' dry
Your bars are so big I could connect to Wi-Fi
No flow in your game but props 'cause you tried
Even though spittin' it probably left you tongue-tied
You should just stick to killin' African guys
Let D. Rizzle make it rain green from the sky.
macle: favorite frog? D. Rizzle: Politoed
Swift Swim Kingdra wreckin' in attack mode
I'll Specs Hydro Pump yo ass so go eat a chode
Better hydrate yourself by takin' up my load
Going hard in the paint with a Qwilfish explode
'Cause it's my home-court while you're on the road.
Your bars are so big I could connect to Wi-Fi
No flow in your game but props 'cause you tried
Even though spittin' it probably left you tongue-tied
You should just stick to killin' African guys
Let D. Rizzle make it rain green from the sky.
macle: favorite frog? D. Rizzle: Politoed
Swift Swim Kingdra wreckin' in attack mode
I'll Specs Hydro Pump yo ass so go eat a chode
Better hydrate yourself by takin' up my load
Going hard in the paint with a Qwilfish explode
'Cause it's my home-court while you're on the road.
Nigga you're the one dryin' up 'cause I'm global warming bitch
You little fishies be swimmin' in my mama's ditch
Looks like the sun is makin' ya feel malnourished
Yo raps so desperate it sounds like a sales pitch
Send me your shitty frogs or horses, I don't care which
'Cause we be deep fryin' yo asses and eatin' ya like the rich.
Bustin' out the guns with Mega Zard Y's Fire Blast
Heat Wavin' pussies in doubles, nigga I'm an S-rank craft
My shit can't be tanked, "WHO NECKS?" koko asked
Flare Blitz from my man Darm will put ya in a cast
SubSeed swag with Jumpluff, bitch I'm too fast
Bro I'm lookin' hotter than Fishy's sex tapin' past.
You little fishies be swimmin' in my mama's ditch
Looks like the sun is makin' ya feel malnourished
Yo raps so desperate it sounds like a sales pitch
Send me your shitty frogs or horses, I don't care which
'Cause we be deep fryin' yo asses and eatin' ya like the rich.
Bustin' out the guns with Mega Zard Y's Fire Blast
Heat Wavin' pussies in doubles, nigga I'm an S-rank craft
My shit can't be tanked, "WHO NECKS?" koko asked
Flare Blitz from my man Darm will put ya in a cast
SubSeed swag with Jumpluff, bitch I'm too fast
Bro I'm lookin' hotter than Fishy's sex tapin' past.
Shit man, 5 turns and the rain continues to fall
Suck my Damp Rock like you do a pair of balls
Hurricane spam knockin' niggas to the wall
You can't even take 'em though you're 11 feet tall
And 2,000 pounds of trash if I do recall
Better fuckin' give Weight Watchers a call, lol.
Damn nigga, and there's a reason why we're 2/3 water
'Cause I'm the big daddy of life, my alma mater
Doin' Mother Nature takin' all that she can offer
She's hotter than your daughter ridin' wands from Harry Potter
Though I guess she rides it well 'cause you're the one who taught her
So better sack your hoes cause they're easy death fodder.
Suck my Damp Rock like you do a pair of balls
Hurricane spam knockin' niggas to the wall
You can't even take 'em though you're 11 feet tall
And 2,000 pounds of trash if I do recall
Better fuckin' give Weight Watchers a call, lol.
Damn nigga, and there's a reason why we're 2/3 water
'Cause I'm the big daddy of life, my alma mater
Doin' Mother Nature takin' all that she can offer
She's hotter than your daughter ridin' wands from Harry Potter
Though I guess she rides it well 'cause you're the one who taught her
So better sack your hoes cause they're easy death fodder.
The only hoes I be sackin' are the ones goin' tannin'
On my Morning Sun, morning wood, giant cannon
But you got no D like the Broncos Peyton Manning
My moves hot like salsa while you just be Rain Dancin'
I'm on that Jumpluff swag, Acrobatics stuck the landin'
Spit that Fire Blast and now our crew's the last one standin'.
Victreebel be Weather Ballin' with that sizzlin' fire
Slam dunkin' niggas so our victory's acquired
Bellossom bein' awesome 'cause we deeply admired
Deeper than Bikini Bottom in that pineapple spire
I'm the king of rap so please just call me sire
And the head of weather too so you'd best just retire.
On my Morning Sun, morning wood, giant cannon
But you got no D like the Broncos Peyton Manning
My moves hot like salsa while you just be Rain Dancin'
I'm on that Jumpluff swag, Acrobatics stuck the landin'
Spit that Fire Blast and now our crew's the last one standin'.
Victreebel be Weather Ballin' with that sizzlin' fire
Slam dunkin' niggas so our victory's acquired
Bellossom bein' awesome 'cause we deeply admired
Deeper than Bikini Bottom in that pineapple spire
I'm the king of rap so please just call me sire
And the head of weather too so you'd best just retire.
Don't be hatin' just 'cause I got all the hops
I'll dunk you in the sea 'cause I'm sicker than chicken pox
I made a complex ban so you better give me props
Thunder and Hurricane and Coogi down to the socks
Swift Swim with Drizzle rockin' the Kabutops
While all you did in Gen V was run a shitty ass fox.
Oh yeah, what does the fox say? I'm gay
I can cross you up and knock down a trey
Drama on Smogon 'cause Drizzle is a yay
But with Swift Swim that shit is a nay
Ban me 'cause I'm the best with my full display
Who cares about sun 'cause your game's just child's play.
I'll dunk you in the sea 'cause I'm sicker than chicken pox
I made a complex ban so you better give me props
Thunder and Hurricane and Coogi down to the socks
Swift Swim with Drizzle rockin' the Kabutops
While all you did in Gen V was run a shitty ass fox.
Oh yeah, what does the fox say? I'm gay
I can cross you up and knock down a trey
Drama on Smogon 'cause Drizzle is a yay
But with Swift Swim that shit is a nay
Ban me 'cause I'm the best with my full display
Who cares about sun 'cause your game's just child's play.
Suddenly, the two rap stars paused for a moment and looked up at the sky—something wasn't right. The scorching rays of the sun quickly weakened to a mere fragment of what they were. The thunderous rain clouds calmed to irrelevance, and the rain drops instantly evaporated before they could hit the ground. The atmosphere was simply peaceful. But in the distance, 2-Quakez and D. Rizzle saw a figure from beyond, slowly descending from the majestic skies. As it got closer, they both knew exactly who came in for an unwelcoming surprise.
I'm RAY-FUCKING-QUAZA rockin' the Air Lock niche
I got 99 problems via Missingno. glitch
Weather to me is just a little jock itch
I should stream your cat-fight to preteens on Twitch
D. Rizzle should shut up and make me a sandwich
Put some extra tuna on that, you little bitch.
And 2-Quakez? Your rap skills are too fake
I could spit hotter verses with my mind half-baked
You started from the bottom and you're still there, Drake
2,000 pounds of cheesecake and milk shakes
Here's some food for thought: I can crush you like a corn flake
Making people look orange for a living? Give me a break.
If you got beef then hit me up at Sky Pilla
Mach Bike skills so sweet like vanilla
I'll solo the Elite 4 with 5 other fillas
Dragon Dance Outrage 'cause I'm a ruthless killa
V-Create in your girls who look like they're gorillas
Better call for backup from a pine tree and godzilla.
I got 99 problems via Missingno. glitch
Weather to me is just a little jock itch
I should stream your cat-fight to preteens on Twitch
D. Rizzle should shut up and make me a sandwich
Put some extra tuna on that, you little bitch.
And 2-Quakez? Your rap skills are too fake
I could spit hotter verses with my mind half-baked
You started from the bottom and you're still there, Drake
2,000 pounds of cheesecake and milk shakes
Here's some food for thought: I can crush you like a corn flake
Making people look orange for a living? Give me a break.
If you got beef then hit me up at Sky Pilla
Mach Bike skills so sweet like vanilla
I'll solo the Elite 4 with 5 other fillas
Dragon Dance Outrage 'cause I'm a ruthless killa
V-Create in your girls who look like they're gorillas
Better call for backup from a pine tree and godzilla.
Either private message Fuzznip and Plus with your suggested match-up (anything Pokémon related!) or post it in the Issue 33 release thread!
Special shout-out to Goddess Briyella and comatthew9 for supplying us with this issue's idea! We get a lot of submissions, so don't be discouraged if your idea isn't used right away!
| « Previous Article | Home | Next Article » |