Admit Your Minor First World Barbaric Urges

[Theorymon]

We all have urges that society views as barbaric... but fuck them, let's get our barbarian jam on here!

Also note I say minor, keep the actual crazy and sick shit outta this thread you freaks!

Anyways here's a few of my own minor first world barbaric urges....

- I am often tempted to drink milk right out of the jug. I usually stop myself because that's a really inconsiderate thing to do... but if it's low I WILL do it!

- When all that's left in cereal is the dust, I'll just pour it out of the bag into my mouth.

- I slurp and drink soup out of the bowl when it's mostly liquid. Fuck spoons, that shit is slow and easier to spill!

- Sometimes I just sit in the shower and pretend I'm richer than I actually am. Yes its wasting water and that's bad, but warm water makes me feel luxurious!

-

 

[CaffeineBoost]

i have the primal instinct to make unhinged posts in the hinged posting thread.

 

[Sijih]

you don’t want to know when the last time I washed my bedsheets was

 

[S1nn0hC0nfirm3d]

I don’t pay for water in my apartment so before I go to sleep, I leave the sink running in the bathroom so I can hear it from my bed. It makes me sleep so well at night, it’s like falling asleep to the sound of rain!

 

[Fishy]

Tmon confirmed adorable human, probably has never jay-walked in their whole entire life

 

[Mace]

I pee everywhere, not because I need to but because my dog peed on my blanket when I was 5 and I never forgot how that made me feel.

 

[asterat]

i live alone so I use my dishwasher as a cabinet and never put my dishes away. then i put them in the sink when dirty, and then empty the sink into the dishwasher once all the dishes have moved from the dishwasher to the sink. rinse, repeat, effort saved.

 

[Myzozoa]

i live alone so I use my dishwasher as a cabinet and never put my dishes away. then i put them in the sink when dirty, and then empty the sink into the dishwasher once all the dishes have moved from the dishwasher to the sink. rinse, repeat, effort saved.

feel like this is the plot of a childrens book but not sure, if srs I admire your effort however/.

 

[Myzozoa]

or lack of effort whatever it is, i approve

 

[Fishy]

hmmmm sometimes when a pedestrian is crossing in front of me while i'm driving and they don't even acknowledge that i am a car that could kill them that makes me want to FLOOR IT and win the metaphysical argument. same with shitty drivers, i often fantasize about becoming rich enough to indulge my road rage and then just pay for all the damages, bodily or otherwise. uhh

i drink straight from my milk carton all the time, i am drinker destroyer of milk. i don't let guests drink my milk anyway, not to keep them sanitary from me, but because i am not sharing my milk

i have no issue picking my teeth in public with my hands/fingernails, it's either that or i look like i'm attempting to tongue-tie an imaginary cherry stem into a knot for 20 minutes

 

[Plague von Karma]

My dad had uncontrollable urges to steal lead from train lines and strip copper wire from random places

Yes he was British how could you tell

 

[ThatOneSpork]

At times I feel the minor barbaric urge to grab a large axe/sledgehammer and use that tool to smash some skulls pieces of wood/rocks. However, I'm not barbaric enough to hit the wood with the sledgehammer and the rocks with the axe. That's just disgusting.

 

[faint]

to pet all the dogs. Lol

 

[Ullar]

to pet all the dogs. Lol

dog%

 

[Ullar]

i put sliced cheese on plain white bread and microwave it. other 'frat boy food' (as the fiance says) tendencies are common

 

[Gekokeso]

I hate pidgeons (the birds, not the user). Pidgeons are the fucking scum of the earth, they are evil within modern society that rots it to the point that it is never able to prosper correctly. Whenever someone mentions the word or the animals i get into a fit of irrational rage, but can you blame me, when we have to deal with such subhuman creatures? Creatures whose's mere existence is enabled by 1 functioning cell idiots who act as parasites to this tragic attempt at a society that keep feeding them because "they are a mood" and "my child loves them" and "my wife's girlfriend wants some privacy with her and i feel like they understand me". The long, extenuating hours i had to go through to clean their shit from my windows, my garage and my garden, under the blazing sun that rises on a saturday morning when i could have perfectly used that time to procrastinate further, is something i will never get back. And for what? Pidgeon are blasfemous rats with wings, with the morality of a discord mod, the gluttony of a tapeworm, and the intelligence of a cardboard box. They are such lazy and pathethic animals that they will grab the most random spots ever, make the shitiest nests in existence and the call it a day. Sometimes whenever i hear the neighbour feed the pidgeons in my residencial area i start to hope that his daughter is product of the airbnb guys who come to his house, because i genuinely hope his genes don't make it to the next generation. And why are pidgeons so fucking widespread? Why does the beautiful Torogoz native to my country have to be in peril of extintion when this bitchass useless species is doing just fine worldwide? Im so tired of them. Whenever i find one dead on the street, my day becomes significantly good, it makes me feel like the world is an actual good place. And let me tell you, i TRIED to solve the problem of pidgeons shitting in my lawn peacefully, but the plastic owls, the zipties in my wndows that took me hours to place there? Nothing worked, these birds are so fucking stupid that they cannot understand the basic concepts of trying to live longer, just being there to be make my life miserable. Well im entering my fucking limit, one day i will wake up and every pidgeon owner will feel shivers in its spine, as one day i will eradicate their evil race until their is not a trace left, and they won't be missed. and if people miss them they can go perform guitar hero solos with artritis. And if they jail me for animal rights abuse? That won't fix anyhting, the stupid birds are all dead and i would gladly admit i was not following orders. And if it fucks up the ecosytem then the whole planet can fuck off till ashes are all its left wtih. I will reincarnate as a cell, restart the whole evolutionary process, and make a new planet, twice as gay and certainly better since i will prevent the species from ever being created my removing its ancestors from the gene pool.

Anyways thanks gamers for this space when i can let myself a little free.

 

[Bug Maniac Aydon]

vaporeon

 

[Crackedatfortnite]

We all have urges that society views as barbaric... but fuck them, let's get our barbarian jam on here!

Also note I say minor, keep the actual crazy and sick shit outta this thread you freaks!

Anyways here's a few of my own minor first world barbaric urges....

- I am often tempted to drink milk right out of the jug. I usually stop myself because that's a really inconsiderate thing to do... but if it's low I WILL do it!

- When all that's left in cereal is the dust, I'll just pour it out of the bag into my mouth.

- I slurp and drink soup out of the bowl when it's mostly liquid. Fuck spoons, that shit is slow and easier to spill!

- Sometimes I just sit in the shower and pretend I'm richer than I actually am. Yes its wasting water and that's bad, but warm water makes me feel luxurious!

-

Tbh my only unhinged urge is drinking raspberry lemonade out of the jug and I do it all the time

 

[Crackedatfortnite]

vaporeon

Find god

 

[Fishy]

i want to bend my laptop in half the wrong way, bet it would be so easy to break it ;_;

 

[Adeleine]

walking on narrow sidewalk curbs

jumping from moderate heights with loud landings

walking with loud steps from hitting my shoes to the ground just right

ripping the clip-on hinges from pens and pencils

eating berries from random plants

getting sticks and swinging them like weapons

i have a ton of these but i can't think of them all

i get the urge to go in water with full normal clothes and drink from small decorational fountains, but i dont

 

[Oglemi]

The temptation to chew on my hoodie strings like a feral puppy is so strong,,,,,

 

[brightobject]

i people-watch through the rearview mirror when stopped at the intersection instead of paying attention to the color of the light

 

[Bella]

Im temped to buy 17 bottles pedialyte each time i go to the CVS

 

[earl]

When I’m home and my roommate isn’t around I like to piss with the door open