Bless A Curse

[MegaFlareon]

A huge explosion happens above ground. Luckily, you are safe underground.

You won a Ferrari car in a raffle lottery but you cannot afford to pay the car's tax.

 

[War Incarnate]

You have an actual job so you can pay it off.

You're playing a game of PvZ Heroes using your favorite Teleport-Zombot deck. Many thought the game would die after it hadn't been updated for a year. But you kept persisting. Just as you clicked that Teleport... it creates a wormhole so powerful it sucks you into the game itself!

 

[Snoms]

You have an actual job so you can pay it off.

You're playing a game of PvZ Heroes using your favorite Teleport-Zombot deck. Many thought the game would die after it hadn't been updated for a year. But you kept persisting. Just as you clicked that Teleport... it creates a wormhole so powerful it sucks you into the game itself!

A virus took over the device and cleared data, you are put out of the device.

You don't get a like on this post.

 

[Mike81401]

You don't really care about likes in the first place, so you're good.

A crucial typo forces a complete rewrite of an essay that's due tomorrow.

 

[Snoms]

You don't really care about likes in the first place, so you're good.

A crucial typo forces a complete rewrite of an essay that's due tomorrow.

you had grammarly. and as we kmnow grammarly is best program.

No sleep for 2 weeks.

 

[The Avalanches]

you had grammarly. and as we kmnow grammarly is best program.

No sleep for 2 weeks.

You use this time to develop an interest in methamphetamines, so the two weeks just flies by and you don’t feel tired at all!

All your trips to the restroom, #1’s and #2’s, are a painful affair and last no less that 45 minutes.

 

[War Incarnate]

All your trips to the restroom, #1’s and #2’s, are a painful affair and last no less that 45 minutes.

You gain the ability to Teleport, so you don't have to run to the bathroom.

You create a redstone contraption in minecraft, place an anvil on top of the block which is linked to a piston... and then you when you press the lever, you're in real life. Now you have an anvil falling down on you from 50 feet, which will lead to your imminent death.

 

[Snoms]

You gain the ability to Teleport, so you don't have to run to the bathroom.

You create a redstone contraption in minecraft, place an anvil on top of the block which is linked to a piston... and then you when you press the lever, you're in real life. Now you have an anvil falling down on you from 50 feet, which will lead to your imminent death.

you mlg placed a block.

You can fly but only when you dont have oxegen

 

[The Avalanches]

you mlg placed a block.

You can fly but only when you dont have oxegen

This adds a thrilling layer to your penchant for auto-erotic asphyxiation

You lose the ability to walk if your blood-alcohol level is below 0.08

 

[War Incarnate]

You can evade getting arrested for drunk driving because you can turn invisible AND make clones of yourself. It don't get any better than that.

You create a clone of yourself only for it to turn on you and put you in life-threatening danger.

 

[Snoms]

You can evade getting arrested for drunk driving because you can turn invisible AND make clones of yourself. It don't get any better than that.

You create a clone of yourself only for it to turn on you and put you in life-threatening danger.

it's behind a cage.

This thread dies.

 

[MegaFlareon]

it's behind a cage.

This thread dies.

But its legacy will live on forever

You accidentally stepped on broken glass with your bare feet.

 

[elleapple]

But its legacy will live on forever

You accidentally stepped on broken glass with your bare feet.

the glass is radioactive and it fuses with your genetic makeup turning you into a cool glass person, you are now pretty fragile but can shoot shards of glass at your enemies and always have a cup handy. Win in my book.

you wake up and are suffering from sleep paralysis

 

[War Incarnate]

you wake up and are suffering from sleep paralysis

On a side note, you now have unlimited energy, meaning that you don't really need to go to sleep as often.

You encounter a Galarian Zapdos, as it gets ready to kick you, you use your cloning techniques to try to evade death by Galarian Zapdos. However, the Galarian Zapdos sees right through your trick, and it kicks you extremely hard, severely injuring you. The only pokemon you have left is a Galarian Articuno, but seems like it doesn't know how to heal wounds this severe. As your last minutes of life start slipping away, you wait for something or someone to save you.

 

[BP]

You die a painless and peaceful death and all your debts are paid. You're finally free from all the pain and stress that life has thrust upon you.

You get caught taking a shit in the girls bathroom because they have wear nicer stalls than the boys ones do and you are a male.

 

[elleapple]

You encounter a Galarian Zapdos, as it gets ready to kick you, you use your cloning techniques to try to evade death by Galarian Zapdos. However, the Galarian Zapdos sees right through your trick, and it kicks you extremely hard, severely injuring you. The only pokemon you have left is a Galarian Articuno, but seems like it doesn't know how to heal wounds this severe. As your last minutes of life start slipping away, you wait for something or someone to save you.

at the last possible second, jesus christ himself descends and fully heals your wounds, he then hails you as the new messiah.

smogon user: war incarnate replies to your post with something unfunny and completely unrelated to your curse

 

[The Avalanches]

at the last possible second, jesus christ himself descends and fully heals your wounds, he then hails you as the new messiah.

smogon user: war incarnate replies to your post with something unfunny and completely unrelated to your curse

Their antics remind you of your best friend when you were nine years old who also had an infuriating lack of imagination that made playtime kind of boring. You get back into contact with them and go out for a few beers with them and talk about life, and it’s an enjoyable evening.

Your digestive system mimics that of a snake’s and you are unable to digest a meal without lying motionless for twelve hours.

 

[War Incarnate]

Their antics remind you of your best friend when you were nine years old who also had an infuriating lack of imagination that made playtime kind of boring. You get back into contact with them and go out for a few beers with them and talk about life, and it’s an enjoyable evening.

Your digestive system mimics that of a snake’s and you are unable to digest a meal without lying motionless for twelve hours.

As soon as you finish digesting that meal your digesting system goes back to normal

You try to do a random seed speedrun in Minecraft, and roll the worst possible seed for doing a speedrun.

 

[The Avalanches]

As soon as you finish digesting that meal your digesting system goes back to normal

You try to do a random seed speedrun in Minecraft, and roll the worst possible seed for doing a speedrun.

This incident infuriates you so greatly that you feel compelled to give up speedrunning entirely. Your mental health improves dramatically and your parents are no longer disappointed in you.

Birds start crapping on you with baffling precision and frequency

 

[Sijih]

Birds start crapping on you with baffling precision and frequency

you go to a bird infested sea island and set up a guano collection system above your head. an hour of work gets you 40 lbs, netting you an hourly wage of $105.18 (not joking). you make a great living

every time you buy a keyboard/computer/phone a little gremlin sneaks into your house and changes the keyboard to be in alphabetical order instead of in the regular keyboard layout you use (qwerty if you're normal)

 

[MegaFlareon]

Someone places a bounty on every gremlin in the world. You end up getting richer by the day.

Mike Tyson, Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather Jr., and Hitmonchan all punch you in the face.

 

[Bice]

You become a celebrity by virtue of having so many famous figures punch you in the face. All of your medical costs are covered by your newfound fans. Also, Pokemon are confirmed real.

Every time you step outside a personal cloud follows you and showers you with acid rain.

 

[PokeKids2]

You get transformed into a Tall Teddiursa

Made some things to return back to normal.

 

[Low-Key]

They became corrupt in the process

You will get F on every test you take

 

[War Incarnate]

You always get an A on the make-up test.

Your team consists of Glastrier, Spectrier, Galarian Articuno, Galarian Moltres, Galarian Zapdos, and your starter. All of a sudden a mysterious curse is laid on all of those pokemon, causing them to turn against you and put you in a life-threatening situation.