ninjas, pirates, samurais, and knights are ALL not as cool as COWBOYS

Hulavuta

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Sorry, just sharing the truth here. The sooner you accept it the better.


Everyone else: follows some kind of code of ethics and loyalties

Cowboys: Travel on their own needing nobody else. Have a strong moral foundation of right and wrong but ultimately make their own decisions which makes them enlightened and freethinkers.




Knights and Samurais: wears shitty armor that does nothing,


Cowboys: know that armor isn't gonna stop guns anyway so they go in unprotected which keeps their survival instincts at 100% all the time. even better, when they want they can improvise armor that works




Everybody else: the oppressive wing of an outdated society that reinforces their backwards morality

Cowboys: all civil war veterans that gave up any hopes of a normal domestic life in order to become ultimate soldiers and abolish slavery (progressive)




Everybody else except pirates: rides horses

Cowboys: also rides horses but with a lot more style



Everybody else: uses outdated weapons like swords out of some misplaced sense of honor and discipline

Cowboys: practical and smart. they just shoot things.




Everybody else: do not carry around physical metaphors for their emotional baggage full of christian symbolism and machine guns

Cowboys: do carry around physical metaphors for their emotional baggage full of christian symbolism and machine guns



knights and samurai: have a code of honor that prevents them from gambling
pirates and ninjas: bad at gambling, which is why they have to resort to stealing things (can't earn it fairly)

cowboys: no moral qualms against gambling (they are taking the money from bad people, ends justify the means) and have the skill to do it



When an unsavory person (like a pirate or ninja) loses fair and square and tries to cheat their way out of it, the cowboy can slap the shit out of them faster than they even realize


(in this video a cowboy even does it to another cowboy, meaning that cowboys are even more powerful than cowboys)


Pirates, Knights, Ninjas, and Samurais (kind of): Quentin Tarantino has never cosplayed as one

Cowboys: Tarantino cosplays as them all the time and makes awesome movies to show the world how great they are





bonus: cowboys have hats that do not cover their faces UNLIKE samurais, knights, and ninjas. they're faces aren't covered so the movie doesn't need an excuse for the mask/helmet to come off so the actor can emote, lol. pirates also have hats, but cowboy's are better.


in conclusion cowboys are the best and the reason the U.S. has a 100% winrate in wars against Japan (Ninjas and samurai's) and Britain (pirates and knights). And BEFORE you get on my case for being jingoistic and Amero-centric, Cowboys even gave America a slice of humble pie in war (civil war) so even they're not safe from the awesomeness of cowboys.
 

Hulavuta

keeps the varmints on the run
is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Community Leader Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus
thought of another one


the best samurai actor: Toshiro Mifune --> Dead
the best ninja actor: there is none, lol. all ninja stuff is cartoons, minus power rangers ninja
the best pirate actor: Johnny Depp --> cancelled
other best pirate actor: Stefan Stefansson --> Also Dead
the best COWBOY actor: Clint Eastwood --> over 90 years old, beloved by all and probably will never die
 

Hulavuta

keeps the varmints on the run
is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Community Leader Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus
this card is bad and u should feel bad
idk man, there is a certain swagger to discarding your whole hand and being like "yeah I meant to do that"

How else are we supposed to determine which of pirates, ninjas, samurai, knights, or cowboys are cooler?
no need, I already proved that cowboys are cooler. it's scientific fact, not really something we need opinions on
 
the moniker of king doesn't actually do anything it's just a title

if anything the pirates support democracy and/or anarchy
 
All of these new-fangled threads are too convoluted for me to be able to skim-read the OP for a few seconds and then quickly come up with some witty (or not) one-liner in response. Instead it appears that I must put actual thought into my posts...

Is this the final sunset ride I've been dreading?

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