It does if you're using Shed Skin.
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CAP 2 Smogon "Create a Pokemon" Part Deux: Poll 10a
- Thread starter Hyra
- Start date
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Went for option 8 as it sounded a bit spookier than the rest - it is half ghoast after all!
option 1 for me, I just think it has the best ring to it.
Suggestions, ultimately any changes are left to the discretion of the authors, but I study English and prefer things to make sense so can't really hold myself back.
Option #1:
REVENANKH inhabits tombs or crypts, avoiding light and training itself in peace. However, if anyone disturbs it, REVENANKH will chase the intruders for anything from a week to decades. - Helios
The verb 'inhabits' is not typically paired with the preposition 'to', on rare occasions it might be but this doesn't strike me as one of them. Generally 'inhabit' doesn't take a preposition. The 'has been known to' parts aren't very necessary, but occasionally a Pokedex entry will include this sort of thing, so if you want to keep it go ahead. I'd only us 'has been known' once though. I left 'tombs or crypts', although they are synonyms so I'd suggest choosing only one, other it's a bit like writing 'tombs or tombs'.
Option #2:
According to folklore, Revenankh are the mummified spirits of a deceased Pharoah's guard-Pokemon. They will hunt down any threat to their trainer, or his possessions. - Magmortified
You've put a full-stop in the middle of one sentence. I split the entry into two sentences. I corrected 'they are' to 'their' and also 'possessions'. I wasn't to certain about using 'It is said that...', it makes the whole first sentence passive - be bold.
Option #8:
Known in legends as the deathbringer, wherever REVENANKH goes all vegetation rots away. An aura of fear always precedes its appearance. - Rhykune
This is good enough. It does have an unnecessary comma so I removed it.
Option #9:
"It is said that REVENANKH have to train regularly to keep their physical form. Should one ever slack off, it will be reduced to mere bandages. - King of Anime
This is fine, I voted for it. Again, it suffers from passive contruction, ('It is said...' again), but so does half of the actual Pokedex in-game.
Option #10:
Though normally solitary, REVENANKH gather on full moon nights in remote desert locations. Contests of strength often follow. - King of Anime
Fine. The second sentence isn't a true sentence, you probably want to swap the period for a hyphen or a comma.
I hope people don't think I'm rude posting this, I don't mean it as a personal attack. I'm just a pedant.
EDIT: Nevermind. It looks like the one with no issues won anyhow. Good picking folks.
Option #1:
REVENANKH inhabits tombs or crypts, avoiding light and training itself in peace. However, if anyone disturbs it, REVENANKH will chase the intruders for anything from a week to decades. - Helios
The verb 'inhabits' is not typically paired with the preposition 'to', on rare occasions it might be but this doesn't strike me as one of them. Generally 'inhabit' doesn't take a preposition. The 'has been known to' parts aren't very necessary, but occasionally a Pokedex entry will include this sort of thing, so if you want to keep it go ahead. I'd only us 'has been known' once though. I left 'tombs or crypts', although they are synonyms so I'd suggest choosing only one, other it's a bit like writing 'tombs or tombs'.
Option #2:
According to folklore, Revenankh are the mummified spirits of a deceased Pharoah's guard-Pokemon. They will hunt down any threat to their trainer, or his possessions. - Magmortified
You've put a full-stop in the middle of one sentence. I split the entry into two sentences. I corrected 'they are' to 'their' and also 'possessions'. I wasn't to certain about using 'It is said that...', it makes the whole first sentence passive - be bold.
Option #8:
Known in legends as the deathbringer, wherever REVENANKH goes all vegetation rots away. An aura of fear always precedes its appearance. - Rhykune
This is good enough. It does have an unnecessary comma so I removed it.
Option #9:
"It is said that REVENANKH have to train regularly to keep their physical form. Should one ever slack off, it will be reduced to mere bandages. - King of Anime
This is fine, I voted for it. Again, it suffers from passive contruction, ('It is said...' again), but so does half of the actual Pokedex in-game.
Option #10:
Though normally solitary, REVENANKH gather on full moon nights in remote desert locations. Contests of strength often follow. - King of Anime
Fine. The second sentence isn't a true sentence, you probably want to swap the period for a hyphen or a comma.
I hope people don't think I'm rude posting this, I don't mean it as a personal attack. I'm just a pedant.
EDIT: Nevermind. It looks like the one with no issues won anyhow. Good picking folks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Jonathan
I don't think using Slack Off really matters
Originally Posted by Fat Jonathan
I don't think using Slack Off really matters
I was talking about the Pokedex entry, not the move. I thought this would be obvious enough seeing as we're discussing Pokedex entires, not moves...
Grammar fixes will come when we have the final three entries. I don't want to take the time to fix something that isn't going to win.
Anyways, Options 1 and 9 are moving on, but the other three are pretty much tied. Not sure how to call this one.
And to KoA, I'll wait until you post your sprite to ask for others. It's just that you haven't posted anything about progress on it yet.
Anyways, Options 1 and 9 are moving on, but the other three are pretty much tied. Not sure how to call this one.
And to KoA, I'll wait until you post your sprite to ask for others. It's just that you haven't posted anything about progress on it yet.
Well, that sprite Alphabet_Soup, Tennis, and I were working on now has a back pose... if that means anything.
The back sprite looks great. I'd like that one to be used, but your front sprite seems a little rough on the edges, and might be better if the eye was more defined too. GJ so far though.Well, that sprite Alphabet_Soup, Tennis, and I were working on now has a back pose... if that means anything.
Ok, to prove that I've actually been working on the sprite. This is his progress thus far:
I've made it using basic colors which will ultimately be edited in the final cut. He also is currently too big for the 80x80 limitation, but this too will be fixed.
I've made it using basic colors which will ultimately be edited in the final cut. He also is currently too big for the 80x80 limitation, but this too will be fixed.
That's really good. Though, the only things I'd fix are the outermost strip of bandage on the left and the strip in the middle. They're a little too round.Ok, to prove that I've actually been working on the sprite. This is his progress thus far:
I've made it using basic colors which will ultimately be edited in the final cut. He also is currently too big for the 80x80 limitation, but this too will be fixed.
BTW, KoA, if your read this... Would you consider to use a black outline on the sprite this time? Syclant's sprite lacks one and is different from the rest of the sprites because of that. What Alphabet_Soup, Tennisace and Magmortified have doe with their sprite is what I'm referring to.
This is the advice of a total non-expert, of course, but I think it was worth mentioning.
This is the advice of a total non-expert, of course, but I think it was worth mentioning.
"Hehe, number 9 actually does have an issue. To be frank, I don't think tea and blues is really good at grammar."
You caught me out on that one, and if that's your conclusion it's fine by me. :D
You caught me out on that one, and if that's your conclusion it's fine by me. :D
Can I just forget about the third dex entry? Or just do a coin flip? Because its really not worth adding another poll to decide between the third most liked option for a dex entry.
And I can't continue this project without posted participated. I am getting no feedback on any of this, but don't want to just call stuff and then have people saying this is "Hyra Creates A Pokemon"....
And I can't continue this project without posted participated. I am getting no feedback on any of this, but don't want to just call stuff and then have people saying this is "Hyra Creates A Pokemon"....
That's pretty much what I was thinking. We already did that with Thunderpunch...I think.
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