The word “Retard”

fanyfan

i once put 42 mcdonalds chicken nuggets in my anus
Now I’m curious about what people from across different backgrounds and stuff think of this word. My mom has always drilled into the heads of myself and my siblings that was one of the “Never, at any point in life, say” (along with n***** and f*****) and I know some people can get quite offended by it.

On the other side of the spectrum, some people use it casually like it’s no big deal especially on the internet. Irl I don’t hear it as much, but it’s still used a pretty decent amount. It’s used probably more than other, similar words in my experience.

When posting in this thread, give your opinion about the word, how often you use it, in what situations you feel it is acceptable versus unacceptable, etc. It also helps to know if you have been diagnosed with any mental disorders, since that can drastically impact your perception on it. Though, I know this can be a touchy subject, so that is not required, just nice to know.

I’ll start. I have never been diagnosed with any sort of mental illness and personally, I don’t have a problem with others using it, but I generally avoid it whenever possible. It might just be the mentality my mother drilled into my head, but I don’t see the value in using it. Idt it’s necessarily “wrong”, but I just don’t generally use it myself.
 
Pretty much every word to insult somebody's intelligence originates from an old scientific/psychological term to describe some sort of retardation (ayyyyy)

In another 50 years kids are gonna be throwing "Handicapped" around as a dull playground insult and we will need a new word to describe retards.

The kind of people that truly have problems that cripple their intelligence to severe levels won't care. As cruel as this is to say they don't have the capacity to care. My mum worked with a lot of these people and one of my friends has a younger sister who is severely autistic (not lol good doctor fucking genius autistic) these people really just have no clue what is going on around them bar in the most basic sense. I know this sounds really harsh but we should care for them. Not get offended on their behalf. I suppose we could just keep inventing new words eternally to describe people with severe mental problems but I think it would be much more valuable to ensure that these people live fed and safe rather than being protected from words which they can't understand.
 

brightobject

there like moonlight
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lol getting offended on "someone's behalf" and caring for someone are not mutually exclusive. I don't have a dog in this fight but I think it's almost farcical to insinuate that people are so busy getting angry someone used the word retard that they've stopped funding research into care for the mentally retarded
 
lol getting offended on "someone's behalf" and caring for someone are not mutually exclusive. I don't have a dog in this fight but I think it's almost farcical to insinuate that people are so busy getting angry someone used the word retard that they've stopped funding research into care for the mentally retarded
Yeah I agree, I implied some pretty dumb shit back there upon rereading. My point was that "retard" and other such words are gonna exist no matter what we do and ultimately really only harm a few people so I believe we should stop worrying about them and just let it be.
 

Holiday

on my best behavior
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I don’t really care all too much about it, but one thing people have told me about the word “retard” versus others is that those with mental disabilities cannot typically “fight back”, rally for a cause, and sometimes don’t even understand what the word means. This is why mentally able people take it upon themselves to do so.

Overall, I don’t find it hard to not use these words. Don’t have a burning desire to say any of them. I can understand why people get pissed about it, just can’t empathize.
 

TheValkyries

proudly reppin' 2 superbowl wins since DEFLATEGATE
We should strive to teach our children that the lives of other people aren’t insults, and are particularly uncreative insults. We need to teach the youth of the world to be creative and really dig deep to come up with good high quality insults rather than just being an asshole and pretending that in and of itself is insulting.
 

kilometerman

Banned deucer.
I'll say "you're retarded" when my friends are acting stupid. It's one of those words that's not technically a curse but you should still avoid using it in non-casual situations. Calling your boss a retard to his face is probably not going to go well, unless you're a woman and he's into that sort of thing. It's appropriate when you're describing someone who's "mentally retarded" because that's the correct use.

If your rationale is that "we shouldn't say retard because it's offensive to mentally handicapped people" than shouldn't you not call people "stupid" or "dumb" either? I'm assuming the answer is because mentally challenged people are higher on the privilege list but that's a slippery slope.
 

Asheviere

Banned deucer.
I don't think anyone even considers "retard" a problem word where I live and I was actually really surprised when I found out people see it as a severe insult. Maybe it's a cultural thing but I really don't see it as a big deal.
 

Martin

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I'd be hesitant when using the term towards a person who is supposedly "accurately described" by it. The term itself is incredibly derogatory, and it's a lot more respectful to refer to such people as mentally atypical due to the lack of negative connotations attached to the term, and if you really need to use something more specific you should always use either the specific term for their diagnosis, such as Asperger's (note: not "sperg"), or failing that, a non-connotative umbrella term such as autistic (note: not "autismo")

As for use in a casual setting, I think it depends on both the group you are talking to and the context of conversation. I don't agree with the notion of getting offended for others' sake, but if you are talking about or otherwise referring to someone who is mentally atypical in the context of their atypicality (as opposed to using it as a substitute for "stupid" or "idiotic") it is probably better+more respectful to use a non-connotative term. I am a hypocrite in that regard, as I have used terms like this to refer to people with applicable diagnoses, but I'm usually careful about who I use them around as I generally know who is happy to laugh it off and who isn't.
 

vonFiedler

I Like Chopin
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I feel as if saying "mentally atypical" just draws attention towards yourself since everyone just thinks "the fuck is this dude saying"
If people are ignorant, that's their problem. Now that you've seen the phrase you have an opportunity to figure it the fuck out, assuming you're here for actual discourse.
 

kilometerman

Banned deucer.
If people are ignorant, that's their problem. Now that you've seen the phrase you have an opportunity to figure it the fuck out, assuming you're here for actual discourse.
"ignorant" I'm sorry but if someone is using a term like "mentally challenged" how is that ignorant? And who are you to decide what language is okay and what isn't? I have never heard that phrase before by anyone, including many professional psychologists.
 

vonFiedler

I Like Chopin
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"ignorant" I'm sorry but if someone is using a term like "mentally challenged" how is that ignorant? And who are you to decide what language is okay and what isn't? I have never heard that phrase before by anyone, including many professional psychologists.
Ignorant is not knowing of something and when faced with it, instead of just learning it, acting with contempt. Just because your worldview is limited so as not to have heard it doesn't make a difference.

Frankly, even though its not bogged down 10 pages, 20 quotes, and 5 links to surveys run by white supremacists, its an awfully quintessential kilometerman post.
 

Martin

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I actually got the term wrong; it's 'neurotypical' for "ordinary" people and 'neuroatypical' otherwise. I'm not going to make a giant argument that'd take more than 10 minutes to type on my phone, but when you are introduced to a more appropriate term the sensible thing to do is to learn it and to start using it. "Mentally challenged" is probably kinda ok if you haven't heard the term (albeit with negative connotations, considering "mentally challenged" implies inherent inferiority), but once you know it exists there isn't really an excuse to continue using vague, watered down English to articulate a point less precisely, and when others hear you using it the onus is placed onto them to either learn it based on a combination of contextual clues and their understanding of etymology or, if they can't figure it out from those two things, to inquire about what it means—not onto you to water it down for their convenience.

It isn't attention-seeking to use the most appropriate and accurate word for the scenario. I'd explain why in more detail but, like I said, I'm on my phone so I'd rather not.
 

Lina

Creatures in Heaven
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My brother used to be a massive swearer and this was a word said constantly by him around the house for awhile and would nearly always call me that word if I did something stupid. This stopped when a kid at school called me that word for getting upset over my wallet being stolen. My brother now never says that word around me and generally keeps it to himself. Now, I am on the autistic spectrum and kids have constantly tried to call me by this word, but idk I've just never really been insulted by it. For me it's lost all meaning.

It's just a rather stupid word that only 10-12 year old boys use to be 'edgy'.
 

tcr

sage of six tabs
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On labeling, its effect on social psychology, and pejorative uses of labeling; linked is a journal from one of the early stages of the discovery of social psychology, and more specifically "labelling theory." Since then many essays and research has been done in sociology to find out the effects of labelling on an individual. While research has shown that labelling sometimes is beneficial, such as in medical cases such as in diagnostic labelling. However what most people use labelling for is to push people into these checkmarked boxes, reducing their being to one word to describe them: black, retarded, white, mentally ill, criminal, etc. When those words are used as descriptive labels, often they reduce the person down to that and that only. I'm sure everyone here knows what the placebo effect is, and labels can have a similar effect, "tricking" the person into believing what they are told. Sure, calling someone a retard once probably won't have an everlasting effect on the individual, but being labelled as "mentally ill," "mentally incapable," "crippled," etc can have devastating effects on the mental health of said individual, and make them conform to the label so to speak.

"Further support for the negative effects of being labeled with a mental disorder suggests that people are looked at and judged upon in various ways, not taking into account the seriousness of the illness. (Serres, 2004). This was supported by Angermeyer and Matschinger (2003) who examined public attitudes towards people with schizophrenia and people with depression. They found that labeling someone with a mental disorder has an impact on people's attitudes towards them. They concluded that people adhered to the stereotypical view of schizophrenics being 'dangerous'. This initiated a stronger negative effect on the way people react emotionally to those diagnosed and would dissociate themselves from them. Contrary to this, the effect of labeling had almost no effect on those diagnosed with depression. This suggests that labels are socially constructed and are dependent on the severity of the illness. Mentally ill people are unfairly treated in accordance to their 'label'."

One famous study on the effect of labels, more so a critique of the barbaric asylum practices of the time, was the Rosenhan experiment. In this experiment, subjects feigned insanity to gain admittance to an asylum, and upon entering the asylum immediately stopped acting abnormal and claimed they were fine. The asylum wardens forced the subjects to admit they had a mental illness, and forced them to take anti-psychotic drugs because of the label of "mentally ill." Otherwise normal activities such as "looking out the window" and writing in a notepad were considered abnormal, pathological behavior. Evidence that the people were just crazies, to the asylum workers. This study shows the dangers of dehumanization and labeling in just the medical field, where labeling is supposed to be used just as a categorical element. However once labeled, other people view those people differently, as if they have a list of expectations that labels should live up to.

Here is a different article, not talking about mental illness, and instead focusing on the effect that labeling can have on deviance, that is youth delinquency. "The observed positive associations between parental labeling (actual and perceived) and youth delinquency are consistent with the labeling argument that stigmatizing reactions of significant others may have a detrimental impact on subsequent youth involvement in delinquency." Basically, once pegged as "a problem child" one tends to live up to the role, and resign themselves to forever staying with that label. This is similar across all fields of labeling, from someone who gets deemed their soccer team's "consistent scorer" and such whenever you miss a goal you feel you let the team down because of your label, to being deemed a studious individual, as you progress through school you are more likely fill that role and end up becoming a studious intelligent person, even if you aren't "smarter" than other children. This partly explains certain stereotypes, at least to me, such as the anxious depressed Asian student who has expectations that they must do spectacularly in school.

In short, labeling is not a good thing. Whether you call someone "mentally ill" or "mentally atypical" or "retard" they still fill that slot of a label that people try to conform to. That's why the issue of dehumanization with respect to the word "retard" is so important, because its important to recognize that just because someone deviates from the social norms of society does not necessarily mean that they are "abnormal" or otherwise "ill" and to suggest that through connotation like "retard" is unnecessarily cruel. I do not claim to be a perfect individual as I have certainly said my fair share if not more of words like "(BAN ME PLEASE)" or "retard" ad infinium, especially around my friends, but its important to keep in mind the effect that those labels can actually have on someone who may struggle with their own insecurities. Sure, "sticks and stones may break my bones" but words certainly can hurt and have deep psychological impact on such social creatures as humans. I for one having researched this in some of my psychology classes have started to make the effort to purge such negative words from my vocabulary, and I suggest people like kilometerman do the same.
 
I would never use it in real life, especially not to describe a person with an intellectual/developmental disability. Using it in an informal setting on the internet to describe something you think is really dumb? I probably wouldn't do that either but I think it's fairly obvious that the intent isn't to offend those with disabilities.
 

Tera Melos

Banned deucer.
I have a Retarded Sister (Her IQ is below 80 to my knowledge), she lives in an assisted living home and has since I was very young. I rarely see her.

The word Retard has quite the personal impact on me for that reason. I don't appreciate seeing the world used aggressively as an insult. Typically, instead of calling someone "Retarded", I'll say "My Retarded Sister Behaves / is More Mature Than you." Instead of flat out just saying someone is Retarded.

Aside from that, I generally do use Retarded to describe things I feel are incredibly counter productive.
 

Cresselia~~

Junichi Masuda likes this!!
I wouldn't use any form of insults to people who clearly aren't my close friends.
Retarded, autistic, cancer, gay, etc.
Bantering among close friends is an ok though, IMO.
 
kids in my school are jerks, so they use it, along with doing innap things in public that i'd rather not go into detail on it.

speaking of the word "retard", it was a common word in like the 60's and earlier, but people have realized it's offensivitivity (is that even a word?!) and have considered it now on the same level of vulgarity as some other ones...
 
I don't really like using the word "cancer" because my mom had it.

I'm mexican and I use the word "beaner"

I'm not straight and I use the "f" word.

I feel that people get offended too easily. I don't see how someone could live getting offended by everything.
 

Tera Melos

Banned deucer.
I don't really like using the word "cancer" because my mom had it.

I'm mexican and I use the word "beaner"

I'm not straight and I use the "f" word.

I feel that people get offended too easily. I don't see how someone could live getting offended by everything.

With that logic would you use the N word?
 
With that logic would you use the N word?
I feel that if you're going to use racial slurs, you should also use ones for your own race. But I don't really like how it sounds so eh. Also maybe it's because politically incorrect things in Mexico are more accepted?
 
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