As a person who has way too much experience playing in-game Pokemon (read: casual, mostly non-competitive) one of my favorite things is seeing people lose their minds over bad Pokemon, particularly in-game.
My personal favorite would be Merritt's summation on Whismur in RSE:
"Whismur - Whismur is a slow, frail, and fairly weak Pokemon who evolves moderately early into a less frail, still slow, still kind of weak Pokemon who doesn't evolve until lategame. Whismur chugs TMs like steroids in a frantic attempt to remain relevant, since the only thing it really has going for it is that, but virtually all those TMs that make it usable come in the mid-to-lategame where Loudred is gasping along, frantically struggling to contribute by constantly spamming a moderately effective Strength against everything when it knows its stats began to fall off at Flannery. After shoving a metric ton of CDs into its gaping maw, Loudred pretends that everything's ok but deep inside it knows that it's really not and that it's still frail and slow. Then it finally manages to drag itself into evolution and it's alright but the game's close to over and Whismur is really really terrible holy shit."
I love the phrase "moderately effective Strength", it's so hilariously specific.
There's also Kurona's epiphany on Kecleon, in the same thread:
"Kecleon is the worst garbage I have ever used this thing is E at best and the only reason I'm not putting it at F is because I refuse to believe anything's as bad as Luvdisc, but goddamn if I couldn't see an argument for it! I just about failed to beat the game because of this stupid thing dragging my team's levels back and doing nothing to contribute -- everything else at least done something in a major battle! Even if it was just a few pokemon or needed set-up or just blew up, they all had something to offer in the late-game even if it wasn't the greatest. This guy comes in, gets outsped, loses its STAB, takes half health and does, like, kind of okay damage back. You're lucky if it's half health. I wish there was much more to say about how bad it is, but that's really what it comes down to -- slow, frail, weak, late-game, basically no STAB. Avoid at all costs, not even worthy of being team filler."
"kind of okay" equates to agony in my eyes, but I digress.
Do you have any favorite rants on terrible Pokemon (can be from any thread or source really, not just RSE)?
My personal favorite would be Merritt's summation on Whismur in RSE:
"Whismur - Whismur is a slow, frail, and fairly weak Pokemon who evolves moderately early into a less frail, still slow, still kind of weak Pokemon who doesn't evolve until lategame. Whismur chugs TMs like steroids in a frantic attempt to remain relevant, since the only thing it really has going for it is that, but virtually all those TMs that make it usable come in the mid-to-lategame where Loudred is gasping along, frantically struggling to contribute by constantly spamming a moderately effective Strength against everything when it knows its stats began to fall off at Flannery. After shoving a metric ton of CDs into its gaping maw, Loudred pretends that everything's ok but deep inside it knows that it's really not and that it's still frail and slow. Then it finally manages to drag itself into evolution and it's alright but the game's close to over and Whismur is really really terrible holy shit."
I love the phrase "moderately effective Strength", it's so hilariously specific.
There's also Kurona's epiphany on Kecleon, in the same thread:
"Kecleon is the worst garbage I have ever used this thing is E at best and the only reason I'm not putting it at F is because I refuse to believe anything's as bad as Luvdisc, but goddamn if I couldn't see an argument for it! I just about failed to beat the game because of this stupid thing dragging my team's levels back and doing nothing to contribute -- everything else at least done something in a major battle! Even if it was just a few pokemon or needed set-up or just blew up, they all had something to offer in the late-game even if it wasn't the greatest. This guy comes in, gets outsped, loses its STAB, takes half health and does, like, kind of okay damage back. You're lucky if it's half health. I wish there was much more to say about how bad it is, but that's really what it comes down to -- slow, frail, weak, late-game, basically no STAB. Avoid at all costs, not even worthy of being team filler."
"kind of okay" equates to agony in my eyes, but I digress.
Do you have any favorite rants on terrible Pokemon (can be from any thread or source really, not just RSE)?