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Serious LGBTQ
- Thread starter Chinchou
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This is actually a really good question, the reality is if you had asked me before I hit puberty and knew my sexual orientation I would have taken the pill to be straight. However, now I don't think that I would take the pill, as homosexuality is a facet of my person, and I like who I am and really wouldn't want to change something that significant about myself. I don't know where you draw the line though, cause one could use that logic to argue that treating mental illness (like bipolar disorder or whatever) is wrong (although I'd argue that homosexuality doesn't have a negative impact on your life or the lives of others, unlike a mental illness). I know that I basically just said yes and no, but that is a really good question that I don't know if I could ever actually answer.
good point, I used to have a lot of internalised homophobia as a child because of the people around me + being really sheltered and back then I was really genuinely terrified of it and thought I'd go to hell, so back then I'd've taken the pill, but I'm 19 now and none of that is true so it's just who I am =/
do you justify your love of things with your sexual orientation? i'm just not sure how serious your post is
also in terms of general social interaction - do you feel the need to bring it up to feel comfortable, i.e. get it out of the way ASAP? or do people actively ask / hint at it?
This opens up a can of worms. What is straight or gay or anything really? Do you mean this strictly in a sexual attraction sort of way? You can be heterosexual but not heteroromantic. These don't have to, and often don't, align. (Classic example of sexual and romantic orientation not aligning would be in bisexuals, many of whom - though hardly all, obviously - will answer that they can only envision a future marriage with one of the two sexes, though they are attracted to both sexually.) I can't imagine too many people would want to be trapped in a world where they only had sexual desires for people they are incapable of loving.
Now, if you're going under the assumption that both romantic and sexual orientation would line up as straight, you're left with a philosophical question (for ease of language using just sexuality moving forward, but assume both are in there). Many people may answer no because if they take the pill they'll no longer be themselves. I do wonder if that places sexuality too high on a pedestal as something part of your identity. Like, why should sexual orientation be considered so inherent to who someone is any more than height. And people say they wish they were taller or shorter all the time. I try to view sexuality as a part of someone, sure, but I much prefer to think of people as people who happen to be straight or gay or bisexual or whatever rather than, more directly, straight/gay/bi people. You have to learn to separate what is essential to a person's character and what isn't. This gets into the whole "gay best friend" debate... so I'll stop now.
If you were given one word to describe yourself, I really hope what you would pick is a descriptor of your personality. Not your sexuality. Not your height. Not your race. These are factors that you don't choose. What you should pride yourself on and define yourself by is how you act. You shouldn't view your sexuality as anything overly essential to who you are, as so many people do.
So yeah, I have no issue decoupling sexuality from who I am any more or less than I would with my height. Obviously society doesn't agree with me on that. For society's sake it would make a lot of sense for me to take that pill, since I really don't have too many personal qualms about it myself (though the ethical qualms of its hypothetical existence are another matter) and it sure would make life easier in a lot of ways. However, I still wouldn't take the pill. Anything that would give credence to the ex-gay "movement" and further normalize sexuality would only make life worse for those who would opt not to take the pill. And that's not a consequence I'm willing to bear.
oh and maybe I'll do story time some time...
I really want to know the answer to this Oglemi, your post was intriguing.
(If that's ok with you)
Well, if there were a pill that made you gay, would you take it? I wouldn't, and that has nothing to do with my views on homosexuality. I simply have no reason to, unless I could experience it temporarily and change back. To be honest, it speaks volumes about society that you'd even ask this question.
I think you're kind of focusing on the wrong thing here. When people say they don't want to change themselves, they don't mean the sexual orientation in particular. They just mean changing themselves. While sexual orientation is just part of one's identity, it still is part of one's identity, and changing it would have an impact on who one is (whatever that means). Character is more "important", sure, but there's something to be said about just being proud to be "me".
of course it speaks volumes about society lol. let's not pretend that homosexuality is widely accepted and comfortable topic in this day and age.
it's still a legitimate question that I would be interested in seeing the answers from our gay friends on smogon.
it's still a legitimate question that I would be interested in seeing the answers from our gay friends on smogon.
All groups of people are shit... You will learn that as you grow up
You missed my point. Of course it's part of someone's identity. I never denied that it is. What I am saying is that I think it gets way too much importance placed on it. I have many tall female and short male (straight) friends who wished they could change their height so that they would have an easier time in the dating scene. To me, this is a rough equivalent of something that is inherent to someone, that can't be changed, and can have pluses and minuses. People desire to change their height all the time and so I think it's strange so many people would instantly reject changing their sexuality, when to me they're incredibly similar matters.
I don't think anyone should be proud (or ashamed) to be tall, short, straight, gay, bi, black, white, indian, etc etc etc.
I think an explanation of why would be appropriate, since my whole argument is why it isn't for me.
I'm struggling to answer this question just because it seems so obvious to me, so bear with me.
It affects the way we think, the decisions I make, who I love.. Who I find attractive.. Many of us have fought to be accepted the way we are and lost friends to it.. I'm proud of who I am, my sexuality is part of that.. It's nothing like my height, comparing my sexuality to my height seems like an insult to me when it comes to how it defines me as a person
If I was shorter it wouldn't affect me nearly as much as it would if I was straight.. I would be a completely different person.
I'm probably not explaining this right because I don't try to rationalise it to myself like this, height and sexuality, while they're both inherently part of my being just like hair colour, are emotionally just clearly so much different to me.
That's all it really is, I feel like it's a part of who I am, while I just think of my height as of a part of what I look like.
Apologies for not being able to make an actual good argument but I've never been too great at that.
It affects the way we think, the decisions I make, who I love.. Who I find attractive.. Many of us have fought to be accepted the way we are and lost friends to it.. I'm proud of who I am, my sexuality is part of that.. It's nothing like my height, comparing my sexuality to my height seems like an insult to me when it comes to how it defines me as a person
If I was shorter it wouldn't affect me nearly as much as it would if I was straight.. I would be a completely different person.
I'm probably not explaining this right because I don't try to rationalise it to myself like this, height and sexuality, while they're both inherently part of my being just like hair colour, are emotionally just clearly so much different to me.
That's all it really is, I feel like it's a part of who I am, while I just think of my height as of a part of what I look like.
Apologies for not being able to make an actual good argument but I've never been too great at that.
I understand what Spinda is saying I think. Sexuality is function of the brain its self, unlike the body, your brain is in essence, who you really are. If your brain is changed, you are effectively changed into another person. Sexuality IMO is comparable to someone's personality or intellect as far as how critically important it is to someone's person. Some people might view it as less, but it certainly isn't just some add on function to you, it really is part of who you are.
For this though Spinda, how to midgets and dwarfs factor into this, I could see how someone of shorter height may believe that their height indeed is a critical part of their person hood, even though it is not necessarily related to their brain.
For this though Spinda, how to midgets and dwarfs factor into this, I could see how someone of shorter height may believe that their height indeed is a critical part of their person hood, even though it is not necessarily related to their brain.
Well in that case it really just depends on whether they consider it a critical part of their personhood..
You can't really apply logic for this, it's an emotional question.. You can't really say it gets too much importance placed on it when you haven't lived their life and haven't seen the impact it has had on them as a person throughout their life from first hand.
For simplicity I kept cases like that out of it and focused strictly on mine.
You can't really apply logic for this, it's an emotional question.. You can't really say it gets too much importance placed on it when you haven't lived their life and haven't seen the impact it has had on them as a person throughout their life from first hand.
For simplicity I kept cases like that out of it and focused strictly on mine.
I was only really half serious, but it does remove a bunch of "QUE????" kind of looks when I can justify my love for Lady Gaga and musicals with my sexuality. When I hadn't come out yet and people would find out that I liked Lady Gaga or w/e there's a ton of stigma and "(BAN ME PLEASE)" discourse thrown around. But when I justify it with my sexuality, there aren't really any problems, it's just a "o ok" kind of thing. It's interesting to say the least.
Also I generally don't bring up my sexuality myself unless the conversation somehow leads there. I'm not going to introduce myself like "Hi I'm Mike, I'm gay" like who really does that? Can you imagine a straight person introducing themselves that way? It's just not something that's normal socially (yet anyway) to do that. And I don't have a problem with people not knowing I'm gay unless the (BAN ME PLEASE) discourse comes out or they ask if I have a girlfriend or something.
Also I haven't gotten the hinting at it thing yet, which I can only imagine being the most annoying thing ever. I also don't have most people to even ask or wonder, because I am really straight-acting (until a smoking hot guy walks in the room or Gaga starts playing etc.)
i'd probably take the straight pill. being gay is pretty whatever, i don't have any issues with it in principle, but i've never found fucking dudes very satisfying, and i'd rather not be associated with the culture or its stereotypes, particularly as no one seems interested in challenging them. that's my biggest beef with it being a homo, really, i don't get along with other homos lol
Ok. Who you love? Who you find attractive? Obviously. That's what sexuality and romantic attraction are. These aren't factors to be either proud or ashamed of. They just are. Using this argument is what justifies straight people who try to start "straight pride" parades. Being proud of inherent traits just doesn't have a lot of meaning. For me pride has the definition (from merriam-webster) "delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship i.e. <parental pride>. I understand that many people use it to mean self-respect and things along those lines, and in that sense, yes you should be proud of yourself. But so should everyone, so what's really the point of asserting your pride, then. That's more a semantical argument over what definition of pride we should be using, so I'd recommend we ditch this part.
But how you think and what decisions you make? This is the interesting question I want to continue with. I frankly just can't understand how your sexuality factors into that at all. It doesn't for me, aside from the hurdurr "I think that guy's hot" or "I decide to not dance with that girl."
Is this what you're talking about? http://i41.tinypic.com/1z38g9y.jpg
(Don't wanna post the full image on here so as not to upset any fairies)
LOL, lurn 2 troll
Wasn't trolling. When I say fairy I mean the type of people in those pictures, not gay men.
Who honestly cares how other people dress? >.>
Also, its a parade, of course they are going to be wearing silly clothes for the occasion.
Also, its a parade, of course they are going to be wearing silly clothes for the occasion.
Hi.
I know being a new member my opinion might not be regarded with much value. This being said, as LGBTQ member and reading this thread, it upsets me to see the discussion on pride that has been developed for the past few days.
Could we please consider that this an online thread where young LGBTQs should feel more at ease to express their concerns and vent the issues they are facing? Could people respect that and not stir up a debate that makes it uncomfortable to write on that space?
Thank you.
I know being a new member my opinion might not be regarded with much value. This being said, as LGBTQ member and reading this thread, it upsets me to see the discussion on pride that has been developed for the past few days.
Could we please consider that this an online thread where young LGBTQs should feel more at ease to express their concerns and vent the issues they are facing? Could people respect that and not stir up a debate that makes it uncomfortable to write on that space?
Thank you.
^this
This entire discussion should possibly just be moved to an entirely different thread IMO, as it is an interesting discussion. I have actually avoided talking about it as it was so off topic from the purpose of this thread.
Anyway, living in a rural area, its a bit of a pain for me to get good therapists specializing this. Even if I find some, a lot of them are outdated, wanting extensive "real life eperience" which is pretty much you wearing women's clothes in public outright. If someone doesn't look particularly feminine, this is very problematic as you can imagine. At the moment, I am highly considering going to a consent clinic down in Philadelphia in November. At the moment though I still have a few options for therapists I need to try out, and a local LGBT group I plan on going to.
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